Interpersonal Communication - How to Maximize Your Personal Effectiveness - Part 1

10 Common Communication mistakes & their solution

The following two CTI’s will each focus on the first 5 Communication Mistakes and their solutions.

 

Why Is Interpersonal Communication So Important To Personal Effectiveness?

To be an effective communicator the first thing you must realize is that the act of speaking to people is that “it’s all about them” not about you!!! 

If they don’t understand what you are saying and, more importantly, feel your message, and take it in, you missed then missed the opportunity to be influential, assertive, or whatever you wanted to achieve.

Remember-Your Listeners are Your Main Stakeholders

The other important aspect to remember is that there is superficial communication and sincere “I am here with you” communication. These are completely different levels of communication that will affect the listener’s openness, willingness and the degree of trust they will feel towards you.

The following are 5 Interpersonal Communication tips that can correct common mistakes and thereby can make a big difference in your ability to influence people and be assertive & effective in your communication style.

 

1. Mistake: Not realizing that speaking to people is an opportunity for a rich “theatre of humanity” to take place. Realize that people need to gradually warm up to your message. It’s a process (as a man would court a lady). Driving straight to the point (use your imagination with the man/woman analogy...) doesn’t give them the time to warm up to you. This in a way is saying “No” to people. (Think about it!)

Solution: Try to give your audience the feeling that you are saying “Yes” to them, by acknowledging their presence and importance! Show genuine interest and listen actively to their response. Warm them up to you by simply being human (a human is not perfect).
 

2. Mistake: Speaking too fast - this engages the brain only, which leads to multiple unfortunate consequences in interpersonal communication, such as misunderstanding, confusion, lack of context and more. Essentially, people don’t get the message if you speak too fast.

Solution: SLOOOW DOOWWN - speak strategically - Measure your words before you speak them. Realize, once and for all, that how you speak is how people will judge your character more than anything else! Even if your audience is pressuring you to get to the “meat of the matter”- resist speeding up. Slow speaking gives you stature of CHARISMA through the correct usage of words, tone and body language.

3. Mistake: Not involving your audience in your delivery – one-way street communication is dominant and ineffective - it does not allow for interactivity, which is the key to dynamic speech. Furthermore, it alienates your crowd and causes disconnect in Emotional Intelligence.

Solution: Involve your crowd by asking open-ended questions and demonstrate genuine interest in their answers by practicing active listening. You build a positive rapport through interactive communication where people feel included.

4.  Mistake: Using too much explanatory language - this is boring and, therefore, retention tends to be at minimum – you must not give them the link to the painful experience they remember from school days, by being monotonous in tone and over explanatory in your style of communication.

Solution - Tell stories! include yourself in the picture with examples from your own life. The human brain loves stories and examples and it causes people to be attentive and engaged. When you make fun of yourself it eases the tension and increases the retention.

5.  Mistake- Preaching at people “You should do this” “You shouldn’t do that”!

Solution - The opposite to preaching is a lively delivery that does not condemn or blame, or tells people what they should or shouldn’t do. Instead it delivers a light-hearted message, giving people the big picture and offering them choices and reasons.

When you take yourself lightly people will enjoy your Interpersonal Communication much more.


What The Thinking Coach Interpersonal Communication Training Seminars Will Do for You?

These are extremely effective Soft Skills Training Seminars, which provide professionals with high level Interpersonal and Crowd Communication Skills, while helping them turn common costly communication mistakes into powerful communication assets.

The Skill of Communication is an important aspect in building Charisma simply because how you speak, your tone of voice and your body language, are your ambassadorial traits and therefore, how people will perceive you and make up their minds about you. Some researchers suggest that it takes 45 seconds before you are judged and “put into a box” of who and what you are, and some suggest that it takes 3 seconds!!!

At The Thinking Coach Training Seminars we take this subject very seriously and provide people with knowledge, tools and first-hand workshop experience so that they can make important changes in a safe and friendly training environment.

Stay tuned for the next 5 communication mistakes and their solutions in next week’s CTI.

Eli Harari

The Thinking Coach™